


handsome; you're a mansion with a view

by darklips_paleface



Series: Nygmobblepot Week 2019 [3]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Eds a misogynist, Songfic, Underage Drinking, because like, honestly if ur taylor swift songfic isnt a hs au you're wrong, some implied underage hanky panky, that is canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-07 03:35:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18229370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darklips_paleface/pseuds/darklips_paleface
Summary: Edward Nygma's reputation had never been worse.





	handsome; you're a mansion with a view

**Author's Note:**

> though all of these nygmobs week fics are dedicated to ass fam, this one im specially dedicating to just Anya, because she’s my biggest shooter and i just BIG love her for being so supportive of my fics/writing, cause it’s something I’m hella self-concious of and nervous to share, and she makes me feel 💖💗🥰💞. hopefully this one doesn’t disappoint <3
> 
> (title is from the song the work is based on, which is "Delicate" by my MAIN GIRL; Taylor Swift)

     Edward Nygma's reputation had never been worse. Which was kind of a feat, considering for most of his high school career he hadn’t had much of a reputation at all. If people even recognized his name, all they knew about him was that he was smart. Not the smartest in their class, but since there was nothing else memorable about him, they remembered he was at least up there. Probably salutatorian.

     That didn’t bother Ed at all. He knew among his close knit friend-family, his reputation was much more impressive. To them he was funny, a total dork, always caring and supportive, a shoulder to cry on and a lovable idiot. Book smart, not exactly socially smart. Which was exactly what had landed him in his current predicament. The one which had shattered the only reputation that mattered to him; his reputation among his best friends.

     “Lee, you can't honestly think it would be you. I mean, that’s completely ridiculous! There’s a reason only a handful of the brightest minds in history were women compared to the thousands of men- it’s just basic logic!”

     He felt like a dick. He hadn’t meant it like that. He loved women! Some of his closest friends were girls! And they were talented and beautiful and funny and, yes, smart! But he didn’t feel like he was entirely alone (he knew for a fact he wasn’t) in thinking that men and women differed in some ways. And one of those ways was base intellect. So, when the lunch table decided to speculate on who in their class would get what superlatives, and Lee threw her own name out when they reached ‘Smartest’, Ed laughed. In his defense, he did think it was a joke at first. He knew he may not be top of the class, but what else did he have? Surely his friends would humor him and at the very least give him that, if only so he wouldn’t be the one person at their table who they hadn’t given any title to. A nobody, so completely boring even his own friends couldn’t give him a pity win.

     Of course, Lee got mad. Not nearly as mad as Kristen, though. And when he looked to the boys for support, when even Harvey didn’t agree with him, that’s when Ed knew he had messed up. But it was too late, a fight had already begun and before he could really think to stop himself he was defending his terrible stance and getting (rightfully) screamed at for doing so.

     Since it had all happened at lunch, a lot of people had heard the more loud and heated parts of the fight. And since apparently news travels the fastest when women feel they are all, as a group, being attacked, the school day hadn’t even finished by the time Ed had been firmly labeled “that woman-hating douche bag”. At least he finally had a school-wide reputation.

     With no friends to turn to, Ed decided he was going to have his own pathetic night out alone. (And, with his friends all refusing to talk to him because he was, really, a gigantic prick; he needed to distract himself from his ever growing fear that he had just lost the only friends a loser like him would ever make.) There was a dive bar on the eastside that was notorious for not carding, and somehow never being shut down even after years of serving minors. So that’s where Ed found himself at 11pm on a random Monday night, unremarkable save for it being the same day Ed had seemingly lost everyone important to him. He’d tried to text the group chat, for the millionth time, an apology followed by an invitation to all go out and drunkenly resolve the fight in this shitty bar, but their lack of response told Ed he would be totally alone tonight. Ok, they clearly needed time. Whatever. He was going to try to not let that dampen his fun.

     The bar was nearly empty, seeing as most of its regulars were old men who had no real reason to get drunk on a Monday night, but he noticed a few of his classmates scattered in cliques around the main room. Several of them were glaring daggers at him, which- great! He truly could not escape his screw up it seemed.

     That all seemed to melt away entirely, though, when he spotted him at the bar, animatedly telling what was sure to be some elaborate tale to the few friends circled around him. Oswald Cobblepot had been basically the entirety of Eds major, life-altering awakenings. He never really had the time to process the fact that he was, to no one’s surprise, gay as it seemed to center entirely on his infatuation with Oswald. His friends were proud and supportive, and would soon discover they themselves were mostly queer too, and figured Oswald was just the catalyst of Eds attraction to men. They were about ten when it happened, after all, and barely even understood what it meant to like boys versus girls. But then at twelve he had been Eds sexual awakening too- which was an embarrassing trip down memory lane Ed was definitely not going to dwell nostalgically on, thank you very much. And after they had made their awkward way from middle school to high school with Eds obsession still firmly in place, the group finally realized that Ed was maybe less gay and more just only capable of being attracted to one scrawny goth kid with an infamous temper and quite the impressive rap sheet.

     Both the best and worst day of Eds life was when Oswald and Victor Zsasz had made their relationship public. Ed was thrilled to find out Oswald was a confirmed gay, and heartbroken that he was with someone who was, in every way possible, not Ed. But they only lasted for the second semester of freshman year, so Ed had recovered. Over the next two years Ed had watched forlornly from the sidelines as Oswald dated boy after boy, the main common denominator among them being their penchant for being just as dangerous and unbothered by the law as Oswald was. Ed had, at his friends insistence, tried a few times to talk to Os, but with his nerves always getting in the way and his boring lack of criminal record, nothing had really come of it. Truthfully, this night of going to a clearly shady bar to publicly drink while underage was the most daring thing Edward Nygma had ever done.

     It was depressing that his first thought upon seeing Os at the bar was to miss his friends even more. He knew Jim and Kristen would be catcalling and cheering and drawing a huge amount of attention with their excitement at Ed having a real and actual chance to make a move on Oswald outside of school. Lucius and Lee, ever the support system, would be wishing him silent luck while steadily pushing him towards the bar. Harvey would be uncomfortable, but when it came to Ed, that was almost a given.

     God, he missed them. He was such an idiot.

     Even with them, though, Ed knew he wasn’t bold enough to actually go talk to Oswald. Without them the thought made him want to barf, so he quietly made his way to a table in the mostly secluded back of the bar and tried not to draw too much attention from anyone else there who might want to attack him for his current reputation. It wasn’t until he got there that Ed realized how stupid he was being- hiding away in a dark corner of the bar he’d come to with the express purpose of getting drunk. He’d need to go up to the bar eventually- but that required more courage than Ed currently possessed. So he just… sat there for a bit.

     Ed really wasn’t sure how long he sat there, hidden, working up the nerve to just be in proximity of Oswald long enough to order something and scurry back to his place in the dark. Probably too long to seem normal- not that anyone present would care enough to keep track of his movements or lack thereof. However, no amount of time could have possibly prepared him for what happened next.

     He’d been actively avoiding looking over at Oswald and his friends- he knew from past experience that one glance was never enough and didn’t want to be the guy in the creepy dark corner of the bar staring at his crush for the whole night- which was probably why he missed it when Oswald started approaching him.

     It was impossible not to be both incredibly jealous and embarrassingly turned on by the way Oswald was sauntering over to time. He walked with a swagger that both disguised his limp and made him look impossibly cool, a beer bottle casually dangling from one hand while the other remained in his jean pocket. That was one of Oswald’s greatest skills; he made everything he did look so flawlessly cool, something Ed couldn’t achieve if he tried, and he just knew Oswald was able to accomplish this naturally with no practice. Thus, Ed knew he couldn’t escape without looking like the nervous, fumbling dweeb he was- though he did briefly entertained the idea- so he simply sat there, waiting for the inevitable train wreck his part in this conversation was about to be.

     “You do realize, Nygma, this place doesn’t have waiters. You actually have to go order your drinks at the bar? Figured I’d come give you that heads up in case you were confused- obviously you’ve never been here before.”

     “I know that. I was just… waiting.” Ed didn’t know why his first response was to be hostile, of all things, with the guy who occupied most of his waking thoughts and every one of his dreams. It seemed he was just doomed to keep saying things that would land him alone for the rest of his life

     “For what? An invitation?” Ok, Oswald was smirking. That was a good sign. Ed hadn’t been entirely ruined his chances in less than a minute, right? “Sorry, none of those here. In fact, if anything I’d say most of the patrons at this lovely establishment would rather you leave. Preferably immediately.” Ed got the feeling he was kidding, but that didn’t make the words sting any less.

     “Well, it’s a good thing that I don’t really care about them, then, isn’t it?” And Ed didn’t. He took a moment to glare menacingly at anyone still looking at him with thinly veiled disgust, but was surprised to find it completely wiped from their faces. No, he was surrounded by people who, if they were looking his way, looked entirely shocked. Interesting, he thought, this must be what it’s like to be Oswald. Someone people are in awe of, someone people notice.

     “Well, look at you! Edward Nygma, first a misogynist and now a badass? What’s next, your first sip of alcohol? Perhaps even, gasp!” And Oswald clutched his heart dramatically, ever the showman, “staying out past curfew?!”

     It was hard to be annoyed with someone mocking you when you’d spent your whole life in love with them. Impossible to not find everything they do charming, every moment they’d deign to spend with you a treasure. So Ed couldn’t help but laugh, and while Oswald seemed a little peeves that Ed wasn’t more offended, Ed thought he also caught a small soft smile from Os. It seemed the teasing was, Ed hoped optimistically, not entirely mean spirited.

     “Yes, well, that was the plan. However I can’t seem to make my way to the bar, so perhaps I’ll have to settle for just being in a place of ill repute. That’s still ‘bad ass’, right?”

     And Eds heart began beating in triple time when that made Oswald laugh. He, he, had made Oswald laugh! Os was trying to cover it up, a glance back at the bar told him he didn’t particularly want his friends knowing he found Ed funny, but it was still more than Ed had ever hoped for so he was going to count it as a win in his book. Even thought Oswald was probably mostly laughing at the awkward way that any curse word seemed to sound coming from his mouth.

     “I think if you have to ask, Ed, then the answer should be pretty obvious. What are you doing here, really?”

     Ed considered answering truthfully- he could tell Oswald his whole pathetic plan to get wasted to forget how much of an ass he was- but decided against it. Not only would that surely turn Os off from him permanently, he also wasn’t sure what Oswald’s game here was. Why had he even approached Ed, anyways? Suddenly Edward found himself burning with the need to know that answer.

     “Actually, Oswald, I was wondering the same thing. Well, not here as in the bar, but here with me? Shouldn’t you hate me, or be over there with them talking about how horrible I am?”

     “Ah, yes. That.” That, indeed. The elephant in the room was really more two elephants, in the form of Oswald’s best friends. Barbara Kean and Tabitha Galavan. They were currently at the bar looking entirely displeased with how comfortably Oswald was talking with Ed, and Ed got the impression that Oswald’s intentions for approaching him weren’t exactly supposed to be friendly.

     Ed was pretty sure the girls had always hated him, but only now felt fully justified in their very vocal protest of him. They, of course, had heard about the fight and were probably mostly to blame for the speed at which news had traveled through the school. It wouldn’t really surprise Ed to find out the second he’d walked in they’d begun convincing Os he should go tell Ed off. Even less surprising would be if their main reason for not doing it themselves was their knowledge of his crush on Oswald. He was pretty sure half the student body, Oswald included, knew about it. It was Eds own fault for not hiding it better, but if Babs and Tabs thought sending Oswald over to him (even if it was to call him a disgrace and any number of other horrible things) would do anything other than make Eds entire night (life, really)... well, that was on them for not knowing how much of a pathetic, love-struck fool Ed really was, wasn’t it?

     Before finishing his answer, Oswald paused for just a moment. It looked to Ed as though he was weighing two option, choosing between two alternatives, before he came to his private decision and continued.

     “I’m of the impression that most rumors are mostly smoke and mirrors. This one, particularly. I mean from what I understand half the school hates you for a minor, if disturbingly sexist, fight between you and your friends that will probably blow over in a weeks time. Hardly seems fair.”

     Ed smiled. He knew Oswald was too good to blindly follow the instructions of his friends. Even if he did hate Ed, he was going to do it on his own terms. Ed respected the integrity of that.

     “Thank you for saying that. Although you’re probably wrong on both counts- I don’t think my friends are very interested in forgiving me, and as far as fair goes...I don’t know that I can blame anyone. I was being kind of a giant jerk. Our classmates might be a little more justified than you give them credit for.”

     “Do you want me to hate you, Ed?” Os laughed a little, but his expression was anything but jovial. Oswald looked like he was trying to dissect every piece of Ed, his stare was calculating and cold. Honestly Ed didn’t know what he was saying. It did sound like he wanted Oswald to leave and hate him forever, didn’t it? Why in God’s name had his own mouth decided to betray him so spectacularly?! Just as he was finally having a real, and not fabricated in his own mind, moment with the love of his life, no less!

     “No! No- I just… Well,” Ed had to have a reason, didn’t he? One that actually made sense? Then it occurred to him: “this can’t be good for your image, can it? Being seen with me?”

     “I gave up caring about my image around the time I was being relentlessly bullied for my limp, Ed. I’m really not worried.” Oswald was so quick to reply it almost alarmed Ed. It felt like he knew what Ed was going to say long before Ed himself even knew- and it was both nerve-wracking and exhilarating, having that sharpness focused in on him.

     “But your friends, I know they hate me-“

     “Ed,” Oswald interjected, “I want to sit here, and talk to you. I can’t promise you I won’t make any mention of your reputation, but I can offer you a chance to explain the situation fully over drinks. Now, can you stop trying to convince me to leave?” He was smiling at Ed with such affection that Ed truly was tempted to pinch himself. There was no way this incredible turn of events could really be happening, not to Ed Nygma. This just wasn’t the way his life worked out.

     “Ok,” Ed cringed at how dopey he sounded, so disgustingly smitten- how on earth was Oswald even tolerating him right now?! “I’d like that. A lot.”

     “Good. Now, won’t you be a dear and go grab me another drink? And maybe you can finally get yourself one, too.”

     And, without question, or care for the way Barbara and Tabitha looked absolutely furious about this pleasant turn of events, or concern for how surprising the rest of his classmates at the bar found his seemingly impromptu date (Ed was possibly being overly optimistic calling it that, but who cares) with Oswald, Ed did just that.

——————————————————-

     “I’m sorry for just...dumping all that on you.”

     “Ed, I asked what happened. Stop apologizing for simply existing. Although, for the record, you’re an idiot and totally wrong. All women are smarter than men, that’s just a fact.”

     “I get that now. I don’t know, I don’t even think I really meant it I just… wanted to feel special, you know? And if I wasn’t even the smartest among my friends… well, what other qualities do I have?”

     There was something about talking to Oswald about real things, important things, that Ed was surprised to find was easy as breathing. He couldn’t for the life of him engage in everyday, friendly small talk with him, but when it came to the most devastating fight Ed had ever had with his closest friends (practically his family) and his identity crisis over where he even fit in the world? Somehow it all just came out, natural as a conversation about the mundane. It was hard not to trust that he could say anything to Os without fear of overly harsh judgement. Oswald simply sat there, nodding encouragingly, and occasionally making a sympathetic noise in the back of his throat as Ed regaled the entire terrible situation to him.

     Barbara and Tabitha had long since left, apparently growing bored with the bar once they realized they’d been ditched by Oswald and would not be getting the confrontation between Ed and Os that they’d hoped for. Ed was glad they left, and thrilled that Oswald barely seemed to notice their departure. His attention was squarely on Ed, and it was the most incredible thing Ed had ever experienced.

     “I think there is a lot more to you than most people ever take the time to see.” It was a statement even Ed himself didn’t believe, but the conviction Oswald said it with floored him.

     “Really? Do you see it, the ‘more’ there is to me?” His mind was racing with more questions he wished he was brave enough to ask; _is_ _it_ _okay_ _that you’re the only thing I ever think about? That after this one conversation I already feel closer to you than any of my friends? Are you sure it’s fine that I would devote my entire life to loving you if you’d let me?_

 _“_ Of course, Edward.”

     It was so easy to return it when Oswald gave him a warm smile. Ed wished he could be afraid that maybe Oswald didn’t really like him, maybe he was using him or something. To what end; Ed wouldn’t have a clue. But Ed could just feel it. Somehow, by some cosmic miracle, Oswald was being sincere. _He actually wants to be here with me, talking to me. He just likes me… for me._

Then again, Ed could easily be mistaking Oswald’s drunken state for genuine interest. The pair had had several drinks over the course of the evening. Maybe it was his own slightly tipsy state, but Ed was still choosing to believe that, for whatever reason, Oswald just genuinely liked him, and not that he was only entertaining him because Ed was buying Os drinks.

     “Edward,” and now Oswald was reaching across the table, holding Eds hand so casually, as if that one action wouldn’t completely devastate Ed, “I’m going to go over there,” he pointed to another part of the bar that Ed knew lead to the bathrooms, “you can meet me in the back in about five minutes. Alright?”

     Ed didn’t have time to refuse Oswald, as he got up and left surprisingly fast, despite the limp. Not that he would of course. Ed was naive, and inexperienced, but not stupid. He knew what Oswald was getting at, what he was suggesting happen between them. And Ed was equally as overjoyed as he was cautious. This situation had “one night stand” painted all over it, and Ed didn’t want that. He wanted it, all of it, of course; but he also wanted more. Handling this, figuring out his course of action, it was all so tricky, so… _delicate_.

     But that wasn’t going to stop Ed. Maybe it was the drinks, but Ed felt emboldened. He wasn’t going to wait for the next guy wearing all black leather with too many piercings to swoop in and steal Oswald from him. If he only had one shot, one chance, regardless of how delicate he should be: he was going to make it count. He hauled himself out of his seat and made his way towards where he’d seen Oswald disappear. He was about three minutes early, by his guess, but he didn’t care. His was focused entirely on the prize ahead, timelines imposed by Oswald be damned.

     “Wow. You really aren’t one for subtlety huh?” Os stated in response to finding Ed had followed him, hot on his heels. Ed merely quirked his head in response, unsure what the importance of ‘five minutes’ even was. “Now everyone out there is going to know exactly what we’re doing, you know that, right?”

     “Oh.” Ed felt like a moron. Of course. Oswald may want him, for however brief a time, but he probably didn’t want others to know he’d wanted Ed. Ed was, after all, a sexist idiot. How embarrassing must it be for Oswald to be caught hooking up with someone like that?

     Apparently some of his crushing embarrassment and worry was readable on his face, as Oswald quickly added, “Well, fuck it! They probably assumed as much with how close we were back there, anyways.” And before Ed could even wonder at that, how close had they been? Ed didn’t think it was odd but then again, Oswald was his entire world. Anything else tended to fall out of focus when he was around, Oswald was pulling him down into a kiss.

      Ed had never been kissed like that before in his entire life. He’d barely been kissed at all in his life, but that's besides the point. Oswald was devouring him, and the passion of it all shocked Ed. He couldn’t help but wonder, briefly and stupidly, maybe I’m not alone? What if he dreams of me, like this, too?

     It was and unfortunate fact, really, that humans required oxygen to live. Then again, Ed knew he would've died happy if it meant never breaking away from that kiss. Oswald, however, seemed to disagree as he pulled back just far enough to take a few gasping breaths. It was painful, really; how easily Ed could see it when he looked it Oswald’s eyes. He could see them holding hands, going on dates, maybe even something as cheesy as attending prom together. It was so easy to envision, for a moment, that Oswald really was his.

     “Oswald I can't do this.” He hated himself. He really, honestly, wished he was dead.

     Oswald looked a little thrown, but ready to roll with that punch, “oh, okay, first time huh? Please, god, don’t tell me that was your first kiss, because-“

     “Oswald, I like you. A lot. You’re all I ever think about and I know, I know, I couldn’t have chosen a worse time. I mean, my reputations never been worse- or extant, really- this can’t be for the best. But I want you. More than just,” he gestured vaguely at the seedy hallway they were currently standing in, “this. I don’t wanna share. I want to be with you. And we can be discrete, delicate, whatever I just-“

     Oswald was laughing at him.

     “Or you can laugh at me for being such an idiot virgin that I would think you meant anything by this, god, I’m so stupid-“

     “Edward, oh my god! Would you shut up?”

     Ed’s mouth snapped shut, but the hurt still shone in his eyes. And, probably, the confusion.

     “I like you, Ed. I kind of have for a while. Maybe not as long as you,” and Ed felt himself blush, because yeah, of course Oswald knew, he was not even slightly subtle, but that didn’t make it any less embarrassing, “but I see you, Ed. I always have. I notice all the little things about you, stuff even your friends clearly overlook. You asked me, earlier, what other qualities you could possibly have if your intelligence was taken out of the picture?” Ed wasn’t sure if that was a rhetorical question or not, but he nodded just in case, too enraptured by all this new information to do much else, “Well, I’d say you’re one of the most caring people I’ve ever met. You go out of your way to make your friends smile, even if you say stupid shit to them sometimes, because at the end of the day you love them more than anything. You are charismatic in this careful, shy way, and honestly so dramatic, Ed. You’re theatrical and hilarious and stunning, Edward, god, you’re gorgeous. And your need for approval, for praise, it’s endearing really. What’s more; I don’t think you’re as innocent as you act- there’s something deeper and darker to you, and it fascinates me.”

     Most of that made Edward want to cry, or scream, or something. It was more than he could bear to hear from Oswald, Oswald, but that last part… the way Oswald looked at him after made Ed shiver, even though he felt a heat building in the pit of his stomach.

     “Oh. Well, um, that’s really how you feel…” he trailed off, giving Oswald time to take it all back, tell him it was a joke, because how could he possibly mean all that about Ed? But all Os did was nod, once, full of purpose and determination and maybe a hint of excitement, “Well,” a rush of air left Ed as he tried to adjust to his entire world turning on its side. The possibility of having this, having everything, with Oswald was actually becoming realized. More than anything, he wanted to be everything Oswald apparently saw him to be, especially that last bit. “Just think of the fun things we can do.”

     The grin they shared was sinful and wicked, and entirely at odds with the tender way Oswald pulled him into the bathroom, closed the door softly behind them, and handled Ed like he was something truly delicate.

Fin.


End file.
